Wk3 Virtual Class Session:

21 06 2013

Leadership Project Sharing Blog post  


Why does she teach English when she looks so Spanish?

This project has been an interesting one, full of “good times”. I wrote my first presentation script. I left my best critical friend in the world, Melissa Sanzin read my first draft.  As she was reading this one, I started working on a complete rewrite. For some reason, I have to write one version and completely hate it. Then I instantly start over and create a completely different entity. I went through this process again, but did not have anyone read the second version. The third version was something that I was really getting into. At this point I had read and reread all of the material from my review of literature. I was in my writing groove. I knocked this version out relatively fast compared to the others which took me a few days each. I was up to 1,352 words.  I pulled out my other two drafts and my AR Blog to look for anything that I could salvage from those documents. I was closing out what I though was one of the old documents and hit DO NOT SAVE. It was the final document that I had just produced.  Office 2011 also removes the auto save files, if you hit this.


Well at this point time I went with largely what was in my AR blog modified by the two throwaway drafts I had left.


My critical friends who reviewed my presentation were Melissa Sanzin, the hottest English teacher to ever live and Thomas Mallini, a fellow Human Anatomy and Physiology teacher.


It was suggested by Melissa that I change the wording in the following sentence


What if the student was an active part of their learning by being engaged with clicker lesson (insert an “s” here) instead of traditional PowerPoint lectures (insert traditional methods of teaching)


Thomas suggested that I change the wording on the rest of the statement also, because it sounded weird. Melissa suggested that I make the statements parallel. I looked at her with a blank stare for 2-3 minutes. I decided to split up the phrases into separate sentences.


Melissa also suggested that I avoid 2nd person and change it to 3rd person starting in the lit review.


Thomas and Melissa both suggested I spell out number less than 100, but I told them It may not really matter because this is a presentation. I will change them any way just to be safe.


In the cycle 2 description, first paragraph last sentence, it says “like this example”, but I clearly have no example there.  Thomas was eating donuts during this conversation.


In a few instances they agreed that I needed more explanation, such as with the study guides that I assigned. My wife knew that I had the students complete them using Google Docs, but I failed to mention that.


There were several more grammatical errors, mostly because I think that grammar is kind of like three headed unicorns, it is all made up. This was confirmed by my reading assignment from last week, it is in fact all invented. 




One response

26 06 2013

Excellent feedback and re-editing suggestions.


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